A few minutes ago, I sent an e-mail to Adrian about my experience last night.
Here's his response: "Yeah, word to the wise, don't go back to the labs!"
Friday, June 27, 2008
addendum
I visited the cancer clinic last night. I sat in the chair that I started chemotherapy.
I pulled the leg rest up, like I did at the beginning of every treatment, motioned with my arms how blankets were rolled over my legs and began to describe how the nurses would search for a vein on my right hand or wrist. then I started to cry.
I didn't even see it coming. the tears, the reaction -- I mean.
I cried again later when I talked about the first day and how my father watched me briefly then got up and left.
later that night, I spoke with Guadalupe about the experience. I suppose the reaction shouldn't be strange given that I was reliving a traumatic experience. Also, we noted, I never cried or acted that way during chemotherapy.
While I was in the thick of chemotherapy, i struggled to not allow myself to be afraid and when I was, to not show my fear. Psychologically, I wrestled with my fear because it could only harm me and my recovery. so I gave it no quarter. i guess until now.
the rush of emotions wiped me out for the rest of the evening. after a short visit with the González family that night, I went home, cooked something and crawled into bed early. like I haven't in weeks.
honestly, I'm still tired from the event.
I pulled the leg rest up, like I did at the beginning of every treatment, motioned with my arms how blankets were rolled over my legs and began to describe how the nurses would search for a vein on my right hand or wrist. then I started to cry.
I didn't even see it coming. the tears, the reaction -- I mean.
I cried again later when I talked about the first day and how my father watched me briefly then got up and left.
later that night, I spoke with Guadalupe about the experience. I suppose the reaction shouldn't be strange given that I was reliving a traumatic experience. Also, we noted, I never cried or acted that way during chemotherapy.
While I was in the thick of chemotherapy, i struggled to not allow myself to be afraid and when I was, to not show my fear. Psychologically, I wrestled with my fear because it could only harm me and my recovery. so I gave it no quarter. i guess until now.
the rush of emotions wiped me out for the rest of the evening. after a short visit with the González family that night, I went home, cooked something and crawled into bed early. like I haven't in weeks.
honestly, I'm still tired from the event.
the century mark
Paul,
we hit a hundred posts since you started the blog!
i'll toast a cup of coffee and you have a shot n beer for me.
we hit a hundred posts since you started the blog!
i'll toast a cup of coffee and you have a shot n beer for me.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Hi all
I haven't written anything in awhile...though, something big is in the works. In the mean time, you might find this funny...like i do
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
No Metastasis
Here's a line from my latest CT Scan report: "No evidence of metastatic disease."
translated: nothing has spread and I've been cancer free for eight months.
Dr. Ahmann recommended I go out tonight, have a beer and watch the sun set.
I'll settle for time with my requinto.
Blood tests are clean too.
other than weight loss (I'm still below 140 pounds), it's all good, says the nurses and docs.
oh yeah, I found this little note on my blood test results -- my testosterone level is 665. The highest it should be is 800.
I'm macho, says my nurse.
WHHAAAAT? You're macho.
WHHAAAAT? You're Macho.
WHHHAAAT? You're macho.
OHHHKAY!
alright, it didn't really happen like that, but I'm still excited from the news. Not bad for a kid with one nut.
translated: nothing has spread and I've been cancer free for eight months.
Dr. Ahmann recommended I go out tonight, have a beer and watch the sun set.
I'll settle for time with my requinto.
Blood tests are clean too.
other than weight loss (I'm still below 140 pounds), it's all good, says the nurses and docs.
oh yeah, I found this little note on my blood test results -- my testosterone level is 665. The highest it should be is 800.
I'm macho, says my nurse.
WHHAAAAT? You're macho.
WHHAAAAT? You're Macho.
WHHHAAAT? You're macho.
OHHHKAY!
alright, it didn't really happen like that, but I'm still excited from the news. Not bad for a kid with one nut.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
veins
more poking and prodding this week in the latest installment of blood tests and CT scans...arrrr.
I had a blood draw this morning. I'm hoping everything works out with my insurance. I'm still fighting over the last blood draw.
What once cost me $50 all of a sudden went up to $550 when I got the bill for my last blood draw in April.
Tomorrow morning i go for the routine CT scan. ugh, the tasty contrast.
Next week, I meet with Dr. Ahmann.
I had a blood draw this morning. I'm hoping everything works out with my insurance. I'm still fighting over the last blood draw.
What once cost me $50 all of a sudden went up to $550 when I got the bill for my last blood draw in April.
Tomorrow morning i go for the routine CT scan. ugh, the tasty contrast.
Next week, I meet with Dr. Ahmann.
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