el Primero

I was at a small party last Saturday. While I was sitting on the back porch, shooting the shit with the boys, one of 'em, who I hadn't seen in quite a while, said he heard I had a cold and asked how I was. I looked up and straight into his eyes and said I was alright and thanks for asking. One of his friends chimed in and said he was recently in Mexico and was recovering from a cold he picked up while he was there. I turned to the guy and said "I don't have a cold. I have cancer. That's what he was asking me about."
Every one's head picked up when they heard me. We all began to discuss cancer, my cancer and all the young people we've known that have experienced this.
I know my friend didn't want to openly ask me how I was doing. It was understandable as I was in the company of people I'd never met before. But I've also decided I want to be open about my cancer and not repeat the attitudes of the generations before us. We need to openly discuss this disease. In all our languages. And not shy away from a discussion because health is individual or because, in my case, the disease first showed itself in my genitalia.
This blog is Paul's idea.
A little background on Paul and I. We've known each other for at least 13 years now. We met in high school at a retreat for catholic teenagers. We remained friends since.
A few years back (he can tell you his story better than I can) Paul joined the navy. It was not only post 9/11 but he joined during the build up to the invasion of Iraq. We argued about it. No one wants to see their friend join the military in a time of war. At least i didn't. But he enlisted and during boot camp they discovered he had cancer. In hindsight, I can smile because joining the Navy was probably the best thing he could have done. As a member of the armed forces, Paul received some of the best medical treatment available.
So when I found out I had cancer in May 2007, he and I have been able to talk about this like few others can. Because he's a part of this new world I've just entered.
When he created this blog a few days ago, I was hesitant for a moment. I've never been into personal blogs because, in my opinion, they're selfish, boring and factually inaccurate. I also wasn't sure if this was the platform I wanted to take in discussing my cancer. After all, once you post something to the web, it takes on a life of its own. however, I have been steadily writing about this experience on my own. My personal journal is now nearly 50 pages. But I came to my senses and realized it can't hurt to initiate this discussion publicly on the web. When I agreed to it, I wrote Paul and said I'd like to discuss our cancer within the confines of our culture. for all I know our experience is no different than anyone Else's. But, we're both Latino. And health awareness and prevention within our culture -- be it pochos, first-generation or recently arrived -- is embarrassingly dismal. We have a tendency to wait until things become obvious and apparent before we consult our family and eventually a doctor. I'm also interested in discussing this within the confines of our culture because while the cannon of cancer literature is mostly survivor testimony, I haven't come across anything that I see myself in -- be that as a Latino or a young man. And the literature that I have come across isn't about testicular cancer, which is how my cancer has initially manifested itself.
So the invitation is out there for all to comment and write -- cancer survivor or not, Latino or not -- but I'd like to especially encourage Latina/os to join this blog to create something new.