Metal mouth and the giant donut

had my second CT scan today. you see, the weekly round of blood tests -- HCG, AFP and something else -- hasn't resulted in anything more than confusion. so it was the giant donut for me. we hope a scan will tell us if the cancer has spread, whether new tumors are forming, or not.
My first CT scan was just a few days after my surgery in May. I was still loaded on pain killers so I don't remember all that much. We (mom, dad, "grandpa" and I) arrived to a small clinic on the northside and they gave me two red dixie cups full of contrast. a regular cancer keg party.
the contrast does what it says -- contrasts, or highlights, my bowels, which makes it easier for the nurses and doctors to look at photos of my insides.
I had 45 minutes to drink and digest two cups full of a liquid that smelled and tasted like rancid Gatorade.
today's CT scan was at UMC. When I arrived and checked in, the nurses gave me a bottle of contrast. the top of the label said berry smoothie. quarter of an inch below was the actual name of the contrast -- barium sulfate
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barium_sulfate
this time I had 45 minutes to drink something that tasted and smelled like horchata mixed with chalk.
you never think it'll take that long to suck down all the juice. but it does. you can't shotgun this stuff.
after waiting the 45 minutes, they brought me into a dressing room where I got out of my work clothes and into two gowns. but I was allowed to keep on my boxers, black plaid socks and black and white docs. sexy time.
since Monday's blood test was in my right arm, they put the IV in my left arm and took me back to the giant donut -- the CT machine.
http://www.radiologyinfo.org/en/info.cfm?pg=bodyct&bhcp=1
the machine is a bit taller then me -- which means it's 5'8" or so. It looks like a giant glazed donut (about 18 inches wide) standing on its side. at the base of the donut and about a foot and a half off the ground there is a tray that's about six feet long or so. you lay back on the tray and then they hook up the IV to a machine that administers iodine dye. the tray raises up to the height of the donut hole -- about two feet off the ground --, the nurses leave the room and the tray mechanically inserts itself in the donut hole. a recorded voice tells you when to breathe and when to hold your breathe.
after I'm deposited in the hole, the iodine starts to flow.
you can tell because your mouth gets hot and the slight whiff of iodine floats into your nostrils. then your saliva tastes metallic. before you know it, you can feel a warmth at the IV and the sensation shoots through your body. last time I remember feeling it gather near my groin. but I was on drugs then. this time I could feel the dye race to my feet, which became very warm.
the whole process lasts less than ten minutes.
the lab results should be ready this afternoon, said the nurses. depending on what they show, I'll know within a few hours or a few days.
and by the way, this cost me $200. lets see what the total cost amounts to when my requisite health care paper work arrives to 838 e. 9Th street.

song of the day: "Thrash Unreal" -- Against Me!